July 7: It has been almost 6 months since I sustained the injury which put me on the PPBC sidelines. I knew it was time to go back when I felt 100% better, and started to get increasingly anxious and irritated about the minutiae which in the past I could brush off with a good workout. I was really excited to go back! Especially due to periodic mentions from Sunil O. about how the DIs had really put him through the wringer - I missed that feeling.
After work, as I walked down the familiar path from 34th to 21st Street, I did my best to distract myself by identifying all the different sources of heat that were assaulting me on all sides. New York City wouldn't be all that bad if you were just walking down 7th Avenue with a gentle breeze in your face, making the mid-80s temperatures bearable. However, add in the exhaust from city buses and trucks, external air conditioners, and subway grates, you find yourself vainly attempting to dodge the blasts. It's what you imagine the environment would feel like if you were one of the crew aboard the starship Nostromo in the "Aliens" movies.
The moment I would start to think about pulling out my cellphone, calling PPBC and delaying my return by another day, I would catch a glimpse of a morbidly obese individual, and would be snapped back on course, propelled by a mix of fear and minor disgust.
The elevator opened up on the 2nd floor, and I walked up to the front desk, with a big smile on my face as Denise registered shock at the fact that I was actually there. The fact that she had automatically cancelled me out of the session only made me realize how historically I was viewed as the bailer. Managed my 5 pushups in the regular (non-knees) style. As I looked at the class in progress, I noticed certain changes (the most obvious being the drill instructors, Niscio and Steve). To keep the place as cool as possible, half the lights were off, and there were more fans around. In and around the ladies' pup tent, there were full length mirrors, of the Crate and Barrel variety. Even the bathrooms were different - there was now a distinction between the ladies' and the men's rooms (prior, anyone used any free bathroom); and inside the ladies' room, there were multiple reed diffusers, as if to try and give a more delicate feel.
After I changed, I waited for class to begin, keeping to myself, trying to mentally prepare for what was to come. Caught a glance of Richmond and Willis as they were on the course - seemingly my only like to what I knew of my 'past life' at PPBC. Fortunately, Gilligan, a recruit who had been in the same class before walked in, and we caught up. Felt a bit better, because as I looked down the row of strangers, I had no desire to partner up and stretch with any of them.
BLOGGUS INTERRUPTUS
Okay, so this isn't normal. I cut myself off mid entry because I got so sidetracked between sessions (only 1 week, mind you). Monday recap of the actual first session:
I just about coasted through, which was a pleasant surprise. They had us running a lot more in the beginning, which was puzzling, but manageable, even though it was a good 9 or 10 laps, versus the usual 7. The warmup exercise numbers were significantly lower, so I motored through. And then the boxing exercises were a fun challenge. My ankle started to twinge a lot later into class than I expected. What was absent from this session? The obstacle course run, and much to my delight, squat thrusts - yay! At the end, I shouted out the sit-up numbers louder than anyone else. Gleeful at having made it through, I called both Sunils on my way home.
A week later, I prepared for a triumphant return, diligently hydrating all day at the office. Cheerfully changed and made conversation with Montgomery, who I hadn't seen in forever. As the 6PM class was at the rock wall doing their sit-ups, and a couple of overly ambitious newbies decided to start running. Okay, so one can look at this two ways - they were genuinely trying to warm up, or they were trying to look impressive by starting early. Call me jaded, but don't they know better? If the DIs don't notice them running, those laps don't count. Kind of like that whole tree falling in the forest with no one around to witness. I lost count of all the laps.
Over to the PT area for stretches, where I was significantly stiffer than usual (my right hip flexor is notoriously tighter than my left, resulting in me being able to touch my forehead to my right knee, where I can barely bend down over my left, and inevitably a groan escaped). The shoulder stretch and tricep stretch seemed rushed - maybe during the time I was out of commission, the DIs decided to speed up the count cadence. So, it felt like I was counting at 33 RPM compared to the 45PRM everyone else was doing.
25 jumping jacks, face your partner; high knees for a count of 15. Drop down on your back with your feet 6 inches off the ground. DI Steve (new to me) instructed the class that on his count, we needed to raise our feet from 6 inches to 18 inches for a count of 15, using my feet to provide a visual example. I am sure he noticed my pursed lips and slightly flared nostrils - dude, I might have been gone for 6 months, but I think I can gauge the difference between 6 and 18 inches! Next, we raised our feet to a 90 degree angle, perpendicular to the floor. Toes pointed, on the DI's count, we were to raise our butts off the floor. Ouch. Back up for another 25 jumping jacks; this time was definitely favoring the right foot. Face your partner again, and then everyone in my lane was ordered to run 3 laps while in the meantime our partners did star jumpers. Star jumpers aren't all that bad; at the same time, I didn't want to lag behind and subject Montgomery (my partner) to more star jumpers than necessary - given that it was her first time after her vacation. Then the other line of recruits ran three laps while we did our star jumpers. The guy next to me was making a concerted point to exaggerate his reps (like he was leapfrogging in place), which caused a couple of thoughts to run through my head:
1. Suck up. He must have newly drunk the PPBC Kool-Aid.
2. Why is he doing that? I hope his knees don't touch me.
Niscio pointed out various people, thereby splitting the class into squads, and called us over to the area behind the INTENSITY wall. We each grabbed a tire, and Niscio gave us the next exercise - 3 sets of tire presses, slow, in 3 steps. No sweat, right? No WAY! The first set of 25 was okay, the second set of 20 was a lot tougher, and the last 15 were downright painful. It's hard to recall, but there were moments of utter wimpiness, so much so that Niscio was initially hard on me, but became more sympathetic as he saw me struggle to keep the tire above my head, doing the default "rest the tire on my shoulders with a defeated look on my face" thing. Run 1 lap over to the to the windowsill, where we lined up for the next exercise: dips. 20, then 1 lap; 15, another lap; and 10 for the last set. Barely managed those. Ordered to run a lap to the PT area, but before we got there, we collided with the other squad. To punish us, they made everyone bear crawl around the gym, back to the PT area. For the pitifully inept recruits, including me, who were clearly the anchors of the squad, they ordered us to run it in.
Back in the PT area, we partnered up, grabbed a mat and got ready for throwdowns. Legs thrown down, apart, together, and back up; for a count of 30 - 2 sets. Got through the first set, then the heft of my legs seemed to exponentially increase halfway through the second set. Shamefully, I planted my feet on the floor twice, and Montgomery had to keep me motivated with the idea that water was the reward at the end of this exercise. Glugging as much water as I could within 15 seconds, I attempted to make the most of the mini-break. A lap of lunges was to follow, a gentle easing back into the activity - sweet! - as I passed by the desk, Lauren smiled, waved, and cheerily hollered, "Ohhhhh sh*t, look who's back...wassup Vincent?!?!?"
The next exercises were frankly dread inducing. DI Steve ordered us to do squat thrusts, as many as we could in 5 minutes. OMG, I was going to die. He changed his mind as he walked up and down the row, and assigned every recruit a specific number to do. Mine was 30. Ack. When he called 'time', I had made it to 15, with much difficulty. This was the point where my triumph turned to frustration and semi-defeat; and I became that bowlegged, toppling over idiot. In between these hateful things we had to do military style pushups, which meant that DI Steve was NOT going to let us get on our knees until after a count of 5. I readily availed myself to that. When it was all over, I thankfully ran the mandated 1 lap around.
Next came boxing. After all this, I became the odd man out, having no partner. So what did they do? Partnered me up with a big blue boxing dummy. Hmm, let me see if I can paint a picture for you. Remember Keith Haring's signature artwork? Well, put him upright and have his hands out in front of him, and there you have it. I was paired up with Blue Man. DI Steve explained the "Ladders" routine to us. Left-right jab, sprawl, 2x, 4x, 6x, 8x, 10x, 8x, 6x, 4x, 2x- this counted as one set; we had to do 3. Niscio, in the absence of a partner, stood over me and goaded me on ("Vincent - eye level, get mad, get angry!"). I tried. Next up, the class was instructed to do 60 left-right jabs, followed by 10 right leg kicks, then 10 left leg kicks. Given that my ankle was sending me signals, I opted out of the side kicks, so Niscio told me to do 100 left-right jabs (wha-wha-wha-what??) All in all, I started strong, but the strength quickly diminished. When I was finished with my routine, given that I was the odd one out, Niscio directed me over to the obstacle course; a solo run. In between each obstacle, 5 pushups.
First off, hurdles - slowly made my way over the first set, noticing that the 8PM earlycomers had started congregating along the wall. 5 pushups, then warily eyed the 3 walls. Niscio, keeping an eye on me told me to climb the 1st one head on, and then the next two I could do backwards (meaning the easier way, using the support beams on the backside to help me up). I think after that, I neglected to do my 5 pushups, not intentionally, but purely out of fatigue. Over the 3rd wall, I looked at the 'Belly Rollers." Normally, I need assistance to get up on this, but I figured that if I climbed up on the front support, I didn't require the DI, and would not risk either an ankle injury or a split chin (like someone I'd seen in the past). Hopped up, no problem, and pulled my way across the logs. Came to the 12 foot INTENSITY wall, took a running start and made it 7/8 of the way up, when I started to struggle - fortunately Niscio came up to give the necessary gluteal support to get me up the wall. With a loud grunt, I hopped over and made my way down. Over the longer, second set of hurdles, right leg then left leg alternating, to the rock wall. I wasn't afraid of it, but wasn't sure how far I could make it. Niscio was satisfied with around 8 feet across. It was at this point that I started to feel lightheaded, and asked him for a time-out. He led me to the window, and I breathed in the fresh air for a few minutes. Not 100%, but recovered enough to continue. But I didn't think I could stomach any more obstacles, so I pleaded utter weakness to the DI, who thankfully obliged, and ordered me to run laps until the rest of the class was finished. I think I did around 3.
To the rock wall, where we linked arms for 25 group sit-ups. At this point, I was so exhausted that I could barely hear the DI shouting out my name, asking me to name a principle (Power, how ironic).
Not completely triumphant about this session, but after a shower, the endorphins propelled me through a bacchanalian dinner with friends in the Meatpacking District, in honor of Bastille Day.
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